Update: (written on our 30th – 12/28/15)
I wrote this blog a year ago…it holds true to how thankful I am tonight – for another year with a man that continues to put in the effort/work that a real, authentic and safe marriage takes.
Tom- thanks for leading well and for continuing to have the hard conversations when needed…as well as enjoying the FUN with me! This year has only added to the reasons I’m glad we are still doing life together and sharing moments like this as ONE…
Grandbaby #2 coming…and it’s a GIRL!
And other fun moments this year…
I love my husband….here’s the next 30 years! XOXO – Lori
#29years (originally posted in January 2014)
It’s truly crazy to me that Tom and I recently celebrated 29 years of marriage. I’m both humbled by that and extremely thankful.
Marriage for us hasn’t been “easy”. In fact – it’s been stinkin hard work. I hope that those that know me feel that I’ve always been open and honest about our desire to have a GREAT marriage and not just “good” or “ok”…and in that quest, we have failed often and worked hard.
There have been two time periods in the last 29 years that I’ve REALLY wondered if it was worth it. I hate even admitting that but – it’s truth. The first came shortly after we were married…we were young, stupid, selfish and TOTALLY not realistic about what marriage meant and how to do it well. Looking back I’m so thankful that I felt like I “had” to stay and make it work. We both come from families that believe in marriage and that divorce isn’t something you take lightly. I knew what would have been “acceptable” grounds for divorce…and I didn’t have them. I just wasn’t “happy” and thought I could be elsewhere/without him. STUPID.
The second time came just a few years ago…everything was “fine” but I truly felt indifferent towards our relationship (a scary place to be). I was “happy”/ok to be with Tom and I was “happy”/ok to be alone or with other people. I was “fine” at home…and “fine” at work. Basically – I could “take it or leave it” in my head (not that I was planning anything or dreaming of an exit…but just felt like we were roommates and going through the motions). I wasn’t faking my love for him or our life – there were moments/times of greatness but there were also lots of times of just “whatever”.
About that time I entered into some counseling – I just needed a safe spot to share my thoughts and figure out why I felt so “flat”/disconnected (just fyi: I’ll just say it… Yes, church “leaders”/staff need this and often find themselves unable to share “life is blah/I’m struggling” openly because people can forget that they are, also, messed-up humans in process). After a few months, Tom joined me and we decided to up our commitment to put each other back in the #2 spot (believing we also needed to work on getting God back to #1).
Shortly after this we were asked to go through a marriage study called Re-Engage. We actually thought it was funny because, while we have ALWAYS had a passion for marriage, here we were in counseling and being asked to be on the leadership team with this new ministry. It was, as always, God’s perfect timing for us and I could write MANY words/posts about how awesome this ministry is (if you want to know more, before I write more about it in another blog, ASK!). We are currently going through it for the 3rd time with an amazing group of (mostly) younger couples that are some of the bravest, most real people in my life right now.
There have been many moments when I’ve stopped to think/say, “Thank you God that I stayed…thank you that I didn’t stay in complete selfishness when I wanted to just focus on ME and if “I” was “happy”…thank you that we have always had “pro-marriage” people in our lives that encouraged us and held us accountable…thank you for a man who was and is willing to work hard for US.”
Bottom line –
“THANKS FOR LETTING TOM AND I EXPERIENCE MOMENTS LIKE THIS….TOGETHER”.
…Brittney & Phil’s Engagement…
…Britt & Phil’s Wedding…
…Breanna & Jeremy’s Engagement…
…Breanna & Jeremy’s Wedding…
…misc CRAZY daily life…
…CAN. NOT. EVEN. IMAGINE. NOT. SHARING. THIS. WITH. HIM….
Friends (and our girls, especially)…don’t let the enemy fool you. It’s worth it…I promise.
Thanks Tom for #29years – I’m so glad you stuck it out with me…here’s to #29more.
2 thoughts on “#29years + 1!”
Love this! Thank you for honoring your covenant to Tom and to God thus far! 29 years is AMAZING! Thank you for being a testimony to the bountiful harvest that comes with hard work!
We are grateful for the ministry of ReEngage, too!
The author of this blog is an amazing woman. Anyone blessed to be able to share life with her has been given an amazing gift far beyond what could have been imagined. To have been give that gift has been the greatest joy of my life!!!