Words – they can change life forever…

There are sentences/groups of words that take your breath away…literally. Sometimes you gasp because the words come from overwhelming joy or surprise…and sometimes it’s from feeling like someone kicked you in the stomach and the air left all together.

Looking back over my life, I’ve experienced both…statements that changed the way life was going – with just one sentence worth of words. Here are just a few…

“Lori – you are forgiven…” (many, many times – thank you Jesus)

“I love you” (September 1984 when Tom said it to me the first time)

“I now pronounce you husband and wife…” (December 28, 1985)

“You are 8 weeks pregnant” (1986)

“I’m sorry…there is no heartbeat…” (Just a few weeks later)
“It’s a girl!” (1987, 1990, 1995!!)
“I love you, Mommy” (thankfully…I’ve heard this a THOUSAND times!)

“Mom, I want to/just asked Jesus into my heart” (Truly blessed that I’ve heard that 3 times!)

“ It’s cancer” (from my mom, mother-in-law, aunt, and more friends than I want to think about)

“Mom, I want to date Phil…” (When Brittney finally figured out what we all knew already!!)

“It’s was a severe injury…you might not ever walk normally again” (October 2007)

“I’m having an affair and plan to leave my husband…” (From a friend)

“Well…he asked me…if he could marry our daughter!” (From Tom – regarding Phil – 2009!)

“Mom – I am so in love with him…” (Breanna – this year)
“Introducing for the very first time…Mr. & Mrs. Phillip Lucia” (March 13, 2010)

And of course…

”Well…we are unemployed….” (March 9, 2010)

The last one is CERTAINLY not the most important (not by a long shot) but – it is our current reality. There have been moments since March 9th that I’ve been a little down/a little “freaked” but truly – I’ve actually been surprised at how “calm” I’ve felt so far. Both Tom and I have a peace about God being our provider and that He TRULY has a plan for us…plus, we have a history of watching God show up in big and “little” (like there is such a thing…HELLO – He’s GOD ALMIGHTY!) ways to bless us/teach us! I truly feel like I’m along for the ride on this one…and while I’m eager to see where we are going – I’m trying to keep my focus on today and what He has called me to for now.

One of the things that I know I’m called to do is to love and support my husband…through this situation and whatever comes with it. God has been speaking to me over and over again…I guess I’m a slow learner! Several weeks ago we attended the “Love & Respect” conference at our church…IT WAS AWESOME. It was truly eye-opening for both of us and we have made some changes as a result. Tom said that if he had known how good/beneficial it was before our daughter got married – he would have made their attendance part of the “requirement” for giving Phil his blessing! (Seriously, that’s how great it was). The last 4 weeks our church has been doing a sermon series on marriage (you can listen to the podcasts at http://www.chaseoaks.org/) and they have been AWESOME. Again, every week God has pointed out his design for me to love (and more importantly – RESPECT) Tom during this season of our life. I often fail miserable…and find that I’m more aware that I need to ask forgiveness almost daily – but I am a work in progress and thankful that my man offers me grace (and so does my Heavenly Father…Halleluiah, Amen!!).

One of the most special sentences/groups of words that recently took my breath away was last Sunday morning. As a final wrap-up to the sermon series, Jeff (our pastor) had those that wanted to, come down front at the end of the service and re-new their wedding vows. It was a cool experience to stand with so many couples – many with tears in their eyes and on their faces, and repeat our vows again. The most beautiful moment, for me, came after Tom repeated what Jeff said, and then added on his own,

“…and I promise to never divorce you”.

It was priceless/precious to me because we had watched our daughter and son-in-law speak those words (which they chose to add) at the end of their vows just a few weeks earlier. I wish we had originally thought to add them to ours (back in 1985) but am even more thankful that Tom thought to add them at THIS time in our marriage…when things are STINKIN hard and when we see so many giving up and walking away.

I’m thankful for a man that is committed to me…and has vowed to never divorce me. However, with that said – I also know that Satan is not pleased with that plan and would LOVE to have our family break apart…especially since we are vocal about our desire to honor God with our marriage. Therefore, I need to make the time and effort to invest in my man and our marriage. I need to be devoted in prayer for him and “us”…knowing that we are both capable of REALLY messing this up if we take our focus off of Christ and serving/loving each other.

So – I’m wondering…what have you done lately to invest in your marriage? Maybe you need to recommit to the vows you said long ago…or maybe you need to start praying daily for your spouse/relationship? Maybe it’s time to reconnect and spend some quality time together?

Please share your ideas & thoughts… remember, I’m still a work in progress and need the help and accountability!! 😉

Just keeping it real –

2 thoughts on “Words – they can change life forever…

  1. I love it! Ben and I have said that divorce is not an option many times to each other. Sticking it out when it gets tough just makes us stronger, and we know that we are loved even when we don't really like each other that week/moment/whatever. I can't speak for Ben, but I pray for my spouse very often. We speak respectfully to each other and try to resolve differences in a way that will model for our kids what we want them to do when they are faced with disagreements. We screw up sometimes, and when we do, we ask for forgiveness. I have learned that if I disagree with something Ben says, he will sometimes take it personally, like I am attacking his ability to make a decision. So I've learned to pepper the conversation with acknowledgments of all the great things that he does, and I ask for him to explain more why he feels that way. Often times, my gut reaction isn't the best option for us, and once I give him space to show me why he thinks differently, I will agree with him. And vice versa. I can sense now when Ben gets defensive. and he won't listen to me once he believes that I'm attacking him. So I have to come up with a different way of explaining myself and give him room to share his thoughts. and lots and lots and lots of compliments on where he's been right in the past and present. it's not always easy, but it sure is worth it. it seems like it took us forever just to figure out who to speak to each other respectfully. oy.


  2. Lisa – I love it! I totally get what you are saying and it's something that I struggle with as well. I think that's why the “love & respect” conference was so great…while is wasn't anything specifically “new” – it just really drove home the “respect” issue and why it's truly such a big deal to them, etc. Just today I TOTALLY got it “wrong” and had to stand in a gas station in Tulsa, OK and have an “apology” moment!! I've learned that it's best to try to handle things RIGHT away when I get out of line/say something that doesn't show respect…as I said, “I'm a work in progress”!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts – love your words!


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