One year ago, I wrote the following on facebook. As it popped up today, I have very mixed emotions…

November 27, 2022:

Something CRAZY happened tonight…

It all started when Tom and I went to a movie tonight…halfway through I HAD to go to the bathroom and realized our theatre was basically the furthest from it. I was concerned about missing the movie and wanted to hurry. Once I got in the bathroom I realized I was breathing hard? All of a sudden it hit me and I thought “Wait…did I just RUN here?”

I “ran” back to the theatre and got back in my seat and while I didn’t say anything to Tom, I had a hard time focusing on the rest of the film. I kept thinking “What just happened?” While sitting there I moved my ankle in ways it hasn’t moved in YEARS.

After the movie we were the only ones left in the theatre and I told him to walk down the ramp ahead of me and then turn around. He looked confused and then shocked as I RAN the twenty feet towards him.

Outside we RAN to the car…and on the drive home I told him to pull over in a parking lot just to see if I was dreaming or what!
I RAN…HE FILMED ME!

I sent our girls and my BFF messages and vacillated between laughing and crying.

It’s been FIFTEEN YEARS and TWENTY DAYS since I went for a run (jog) that changed my life forever. Since that day I’ve often struggled to walk (some days I can’t stand) and lived with chronic pain and a limp. I have never RAN since.

When we got home at 10pm, I grabbed the dog and went on a long walk-typically Tom would have never let me go alone, but I think he just knew I needed a moment.

I jogged a little and wept a lot.

I wanted to stay in the moment of JOY and gratitude for the gift of movement and relief of pain, and yet my mind kept reminding me of what will probably be true tomorrow.

I’m not expecting that I’m permanently healed -honestly, I’m hoping that after all this “running” I’ll be able to even stand. Since I’ve been sick this past week I’ve had a steroid shot and steroid pills and my only guess is that they might have something to do with this (even though I’ve had steroid injections in my ankle that never gave me this relief). ???

Regardless-TONIGHT WAS A GIFT! If it never happens again, and if I can’t stand tomorrow, I have proof that it happened.

That proof…the video that Tom shot of me running in a dark Target parking lot…will most likely never be shared, but if you are a FRIENDS fan you can picture the episode where Rachel and Phoebe go running together. Basically I was Phoebe (super awkward) but my running partner (Tom) wasn’t mortified/embarrassed…he stood in a parking lot and cheered me on.

No matter what tomorrow brings, I’m choosing to go to bed grateful, praising God, for the day I RAN again. It was incredible!

I’ll forever remember-
November 26, 2022.

(And even if I did forget, Taffy has already added it to her calendar!) ❤️

And now – November 27, 2023:

I love this memory and the JOY I felt for about 10 hours last year. It’s now been SIXTEEN years (…and 20 days) since my accident and this past year has been the worst one of those 16. My leg is becoming more and more of an “issue” and the pain (even the past two weeks) has gotten more intense. My plan is to go ahead with ankle REPLACEMENT surgery, but because it’s a very intense recovery (months of not being allowed to put ANY weight on my right leg), I’m trying to put it off till all 3 of our girls have their babies – the last one arriving in April. I’m dreading the process of going through months and months of recovery but – I’m dreaming of a day I could ever “run” again (even if I looked like “Phoebe”). Honestly, I’d be fine to never run again…and just walk without gritting my teeth!

And on a lighter/happier note…I love that my granddaughter, coming in April, has the name “Phoebe Joy”! When I think of her, I want to always think of her namesake – Phoebe from the Bible, mentioned in Romans 16. She was a strong woman who was active in church leadership and spreading the Good News of Jesus!

BUT/AND: I hope I also think of the JOY I have received from Phoebe Buffay from F*R*I*E*N*D*S. I hope I always remember the goofy way she ran through Central Park – and didn’t care what others thought while doing it. I also hope I always remember the way I ran through a parking lot on November 27, 2022. That joy and gift from God is what’s keeping me going today.

#phoebeJoy #phoebeBuffay #theNightIRan